Saturday, January 15, 2011

My Dad

Six years ago today my wonderful dad passed away.  It's hard to believe that it has been six years.  Candidly, I don't find the anniversary of his death an upsetting day.  I think when someone you loves passes away you prepare yourself for the big days...birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.  It's all the little things you miss.  Their hugs, their habits, their laugh.  The little reminders of who they are.  

I miss all those little reminders about my dad:
  • His laughter that resonated through the entire room.
  • His funny little observations...when you are interviewing someone, look at their shoes.  If they polish their shoes, it will tell you they're organized and take care of details.  (Yes, I gave my shoes a quick polish before church in his honor).
  • When he would walk with you on the sidewalk, he always made sure he was on the outside to protect me.  Forever the gentleman.
  • Him buying my mum flowers almost every week.
  • The way he took care of my nana's grave site.  We lived in Ohio and my nana was buried in New Jersey.  Whenever we went back, he would go to her grave and make sure that you could see the headstone and that it was neatly trimmed.
  • His hugs.  Holding his hand.
  • His laughter when Ryan first starting playing sports and the boys were a bunch of bumble bees on the soccer field and playing in the dirt at baseball.  More than a few times I told him to stop laughing so loud!
  • His pride and love for his family.
My mum and I went to mass and his grave yesterday as we do every year.  I also went on Christmas Eve.  On Christmas Eve, I made sure his grave was clear of snow just as he would have done for his mum.  While I was there, I saw the most beautiful scene.  A group of men all bundled up standing around a grave.  It was early in the morning, about 10:30 and freezing.  They all had beers in their hands.  Clearly toasting someone they love and sharing memories.  Althought, it was strange to see, it made my heart happy.  Clearly the person they lost was truly loved.  I am sure they loved the person they lost as much as I love my dad.

I miss him, but I know that he still continues to shape who I am every day.  I have conversations with him in my head...and I know he's listening, guiding and loving me.


Jen W. said...

Your dad sounds like a wonderful guy, Lynn, and this is a lovely tribute to him.

Emily Leiphart said...

Lynn, I teared up reading this but it's a lovely tribute to a very special man and a great post. Reading this, it's obvious how much you love your Dad and how much he was loved by all.

Maureen said...

oh, must know that this brings tears to my eyes. What beautiful memories of your dad...I feel the same about my mom...she is still with me for sure...and yes, the anniversaries and birthdays are not the difficult times...but the little moments when you realize you won't see them again on this earth. One more blessing came when mom passed...we became closer blog buddies :) My sisters and I had to go through mom's jewelry at Christmas and I got to have her engagement ring...her wedding rings were the only jewelry she wore daily and rarely took off so it's very special and when i wear it, can feel her's like she wanted me to have it :) Hugs to you :)

Barb said...

What a wonderful tribute to your dad! I want to thank you, Lynn, for putting into words how I feel. My father died over 30 years ago when I was 17, but my mom recently died this past June. I talk to her all the time and I know she's listening too. She influenced my life greatly and I have always taught my children the lessons, morals and values that she taught me. It's the perfect way for them to carry her love with them always. Much love and hugs to you on this difficult anniversary.

Dana said...

It was so nice to hear the wonderful things your remember about your dad, Lynn. Thank you for sharing!

Jenny said...

Wonderful tribute Lynn, im so very sorry for your loss. Big huge hugs to you and your family.

Laurie said...

I loved reading your post! So many amazing memories! So sorry for your loss!

Jaclyn Miller said...

This is so sweet. Thank you for sharing it.

Stampin' Pam said...

Wonderfully said and SO true - it's the little things we miss - it's been almost 9 years since I lost my mom and I still miss the little things on a daily basis - I still expect her to give me a call each evening. Thanks for sharing your story. HUGS.

Ida said...

What a beautiful tribute to your dad.
I can so relate to your feelings.

My dad passed away 13 years ago (1-4-98) and if you visit my personal blog there is a tribute there to him.

Anonymous said...

Your Dad sounds like a very wonderful man (now I'm going to go give my dad a call, thanks for sharing your heart!).